Kids Being Loud? Here's What To Do

Jul 21, 2023

by Rachel Tomlinson

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My six-year-old doesn’t seem to have a volume button. Like many kids being loud, she is noisy from sunup to sundown. It’s a constant stream of chatting, singing, tap dancing, clicking, and tapping. She even talks in her sleep. At times it feels like there is no escape from the wall of noise.

By the end of the day, or if I’m feeling frazzled, the endless clatter and clamor can leave me feeling overwhelmed and, at times, pretty escalated. Sometimes I need space to hear myself think or process things, or even just a moment to settle and calm. So, if you’re like me and want to know why kids can be so loud and how you can gently and compassionately get them to lower the volume, keep reading!

There are eight reasons our kids are being loud:1,2

Kids being loud is often not intentional. At times, our little ones don’t realize how loud they are being. Or that their volume is impacting other people.

They are full of energy, and the volume of their voice can express this. Their excitement can also be shown by big movements or by being loud.

Sometimes our little people feel like they aren’t being heard. So, they may increase their volume to be included in conversations.

It’s easy for our kids to become dysregulated. So much is new, and they are constantly learning and taking things in, so they can quickly become overwhelmed. And so, their voices can increase alongside their escalation. As their nervous system matures, they will better manage big feelings or how they respond to lots of stimulation or input from their environment.

Our kids don’t control much, but they can control their voice – including the volume. So, this may be a way they try to express themselves or get some kind of autonomy.

Children learn their limits and what is acceptable in different spaces and areas and with other people. So they haven’t yet learned the difference between inside and outside voices or that certain places require them to be quieter.

Kids copy us and those around them, so they may model what they see and hear.

Hearing loss is something to watch for. Be on the lookout for them not turning to noises or asking you or others to repeat themselves. This is something to rule out and check with your doctor or trusted health professional about.

Our little ones are being loud for many reasons, but it’s essential for them to learn there are certain times (or settings) when they need to reduce the volume. Having some strategies to manage when your child is being too loud is important.3,4,5

Here are three ways you can redirect your child when they’re being loud:3,4

They will automatically have to reduce their volume to hear you and are more likely to tune into your wavelength and copy your tone/pitch/volume, as our little people like to imitate us. It’s also subconscious to mirror or copy people you are conversing with. We can mirror their body postures and even the pace (how fast) and volume (how loud) of the other person’s voice.

Make sure that if your child is naturally chatty or vocal, they have a chance to express themselves via their volume! This could be putting on music for them to sing and dance to or taking them outside or to a place where they can make as much noise as they like.

If they are being loud because they are overwhelmed, find a way to express themselves and get that energy out in a more pro-social way. It could be running on the spot, jumping, or dancing their wiggles out.

It’s vital that we don’t squash our child’s self-expression, make them feel like we don’t want to hear them, or aren’t interested in what they are doing. But we must also protect our well-being and senses from the sheer volume. So, what are some survival strategies?3,4

Take the pressure off yourself to respond to every noise. It’s okay to tune out things like tapping and clicking or when your child is simply narrating their play. Try to retain some energy to respond and tune in when they need your attention or for you to engage with them.

I’m not saying ignore your child; if there is a safety issue, respond appropriately, but respond when they engage with you properly. They will soon learn they get more attention from you when they are speaking calmly.

If you can’t (or don’t want to) control or change your child’s noise, then it can help if you reduce other sources of stimulation. Turn off the TV in the background, or close windows or doors to shut out noise from neighbors or the street.

It can take the edge off to pop some headphones on. You don’t need to listen to anything, but having headphones can dull some background noise to a more manageable level.

Identifying any triggers or things that influence your kids being loud is critical. You can support your child positively by addressing something that might be escalating or distressing them or giving them other strategies to help manage. Learning to control their volume is an important life skill. We all learn that we need to be quiet to be respectful in certain circumstances, but also to be respectful to other people around us.

1. American Speech-Language Hearing Association. Speech and language milestones.

2. McAllister, A., & Rantala, L., & Jonsdottir, V. I. (2019). The others are too loud! Children’s experiences and thoughts related to voice, noise, and communication in Nordic preschools. Front Psychology, 10.

3. American Academy of Pediatrics. What’s the best way to discipline my child?

4. Kavan MG, Saxena SK, Rafiq N. General parenting strategies: practical suggestions for common child behavior issues. Am Fam Physician. 2018;97(10):642–648.

5. Hardym J. K., & McLeod, R. H. (2020). Using positive reinforcement with young children. Beyond Behavior, 29 (2).

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